snowy vista

one of my favorite windows in my house, showcasing a lovely view of today's outdoor 'festivities'.

b. e. a. u. t. i. f. u. l.

winter view

If this is all we get today, then I'm soaking up the vista.

I LOVE SNOW.

I LOVE WINTER.

Mother nature - bring it on! Jazzy Christmas tunes and winter weather just go together, and nothing gets me in the mood more! (ok... other than a boozy beautiful irish hot chocolate and a warm roaring fire. I'm just sayin')

relief

This morning was one of those mornings where it could go one of two ways. It could be a shitstorm of a day (pun intended, given our recent multiple sewage backups), or it would be a day that goes more our way.

And so on we go. Our way. Relief today is spelled with a BIG R with many heroes a part of that amazing feeling. We are one day closer to getting our basement fixed and our lives back to normal. And we are one day closer to hearing the words 'Yes, we're responsible for the situation, it will be cleaned up, repaired, and your job is to eagerly watch the progress and ensure it gets done.'

Its one of those things that unless someone has felt the frustration and discomfort from their own disaster and displacement, most people really don't react. 'Oh that's too bad.' Or in the case of someone yesterday, (lovely as she is) tried to equate our situation with her car's ongoing mechanical issues.

SO. NOT. THE. SAME.

And our basement leeching poop is by no means the worst that could ever happen. And there are SO many things that could have made the situation worse. And we are all healthy. And we have been able to continue living here, in our very own house. And I have a family that I love and adore. And we are nowhere close to being at each other's throats, despite living on top of one another right now.

It's showed me how much I can internalize. How much stress I can handle. How much unknown I can take before I crack. I'm an emotional person. Amazingly, the first tear I have shed throughout this whole process was not when sewage spilled the first time. Or the second time. Or the third time. Or at the thought of shelling out tens of thousands of dollars that we don't have to fix the problem. It was after our hero plumber told me this morning (for the third time so I was sure I heard him right), that this problem was not ours to fix. It was the city's problem and they would be dealing with it today. As I walked back to the house to call Guy with the great news, I was overcome with relief and let myself go for a few seconds.

Still so much to do, but man oh man. There is a light at the end of this tunnel of darkness. And tonight there may be a little celebrating down the street at our favorite neighborhood establishment, toasting the birth of my husband over forty years ago, and toasting a challenging experience that feels like its on its way to being over. Finally.

the current one

{borrowed from one of my regular blog reads}

listening to the hum of fridge and cody sleeping
eating nothing but the crema of my espresso
drinking the crema and the body of my espresso
wearing my cozy white robe
feeling anxious about getting our basement finished
weather rainy
wanting to have our basement finished and storybooks completed for Christmas
needing to go shopping for birthday gifts
thinking about how to make things liveable here for the next few weeks while we still cohabitate on our one floor
enjoying the coziness of darker days
wondering how I'm going to grow and change this coming year

the dark and the light

 

Today I woke up with a killer stomach ache. Every once in a while that will happen, and although it feels like its because my tummy is empty and needs some fillin', today I can't help but wonder if its some anxiety that I'm experiencing. Today my Dad is going in for a medical test, and until I know that things are ok, I'm going to remain uneasy.

I do that. I dramatize. I'm good at it. Should have been an actress... at times the drama meter in my head soars higher than the heavens and it takes a lot to talk that meter down.

And I can't help but think that today my gut was telling me something. I'm home, nursing my ill feeling, and hoping that I get some positive news from my Dad.

 

On the lighter side of things........

We took this blessed holiday tale out of the library the other night, as an official kickoff to the holiday season, and MAN O MAN what a laugh fest we have! Giggles galore - it really is such a great feel-good-I-feel-like-a-silly-kid-kind of movie. Well chosen by my sweet girl, and what a great way to celebrate the start to the season.

No bah-humbug here... I think I might even get my husband in on the early celebrating. Why do we resist the season so? It really can be full of so much joy, especially spread over the course of many weeks instead of just chaos-packed days.

As you can see, someone really got in the spirit - hauling ALL of the Christmas books upstairs to hold court in our living room until December 25th. Several were read, and one was utilized - an absolutely beautiful book on creating seasonal drawings and crafts. The true spirit of the season is soon upon us, and we're going to embrace it for all its worth!

Limbo

There is something about having to give up something that you take for granted in order to appreciate that thing.

My basement.

Its a place for children to sleep, to play, to entertain friends, entertain each othher. And for 11 days now we've not had that space. We have a family room that is not in use, except for storing all the items that nearly fell victim to 'the flood'. We have pet stuff that now nuzzles in between all the rest of our living space upstairs.

And I have a creative space that is used in fits and spurts. For the last 6 months it has been a catchall for all things creative. Luckily, I've been able to maintain THAT. It has not become a catchall for all the rest of our life's ephemera. I consider that a little triumph.

But now, we are embarking on the next few weeks of holiday prep and joy and wonder. And I'm SO into it this year. Fellow bloggers have been inspiring me with their exhuberance over the upcoming season, and I've caught the wave {in my head at least}. And wouldn't you know it? My mind is racing with ideas and desires and wishes for creative adventure... and no creative space to work within.

So I miss my space that's been neglected. I feel like I might get back into lots of creativity once our living area downstairs is restored. And the balance will be achieved {somewhat} again. As much as this experience has been pretty uneventful in a good way, I'm ready for it to be over. SO. OVER.

And then let the creative angels and goddesses be unleashed upon the holidays!

ahhh

Monday Morning Swooooooooon

Saga no more! You may remember a few months ago when my living room drama began to unfold.... aka Furniture Nightmare. Operation Overhall? Well, one thing I've been searching and researching over the last several months is the idea of window coverings. With two big bright beautiful windows we've been blessed with so much sunshine streaming into our house, that quite frankly, our furniture takes a faded beating and our ability to watch risque movies and shows bordering on soft core porn (True Blood anyone?!?!?) have been compromised.

Well! at long last, I DID manage to find some draperies that didn't break the bank, that I really like AND a drapery rod solution that I could more than happily live with.

The result? DARK. BROODING. I LOVE IT! It feels complete. I feel grown up.

My living room now resembles a cozy lounge-like room where I see many glasses of deep dark reds paired with heavy stinky cheese and rich dark chocolate, many deep and meaningful discussions, the resuming of risque movie viewing and furniture that will keep its lustrous shade for many years to come. Its dark. Its warm. Its inviting. After five years of overexposing our furniture and our life to our street, it was finally time to enact the ability to close our drapes on the world.

I'm sure my neighbors are going to wonder what the hell is going on!

the view from here

I hadn't realized what I was really doing with my life until today.

Beside my driveway sits an old fence. Really old. Falling half-way down old. Painted a colour that the trim on this house hasn't been for many many many years (I'm guessing). The fence is being pushed in all directions from the living things growing beside it. Its being pulled in opposite directions by gravity. Its perilously perched on the border of our property, and mostly is just there these days for appearance's sake. Many times the subject of our fence has come up on conversations of 'what do we tackle next' at home. (Sadly for the fence) it always seems to end up at the bottom of the 'to do' pile.

Today it looks different to me. It looks like home. Like a place I have been spending my life on of late.

I've discovered I've become a fence sitter. In many ways. MANY ways.

I discovered a new blog today {insert sarcastic gasp!} and it hit me like a freight train. This woman writes for me. From the comfort of her Montreal home, she is writing for me. ABOUT ME. About my life's recent perspective.

From the perch of my rickety old falling down cozy looking fence.

And now I must read her blog to figure out what the hell I'm doing there. And if I have what it takes right now to get off. Or if I'll sit for a while longer and get off in baby steps.

All I know is the view from here is too comfy. Too staid. Too fixed. Need to get me some discomfort (the good kind), some passion, some variety.

Need to mix it up a bit. Hmph... cozy fence begone...

under the truck

hope to return soon. been fighting niggling illness on and off for almost two weeks now. blech!

on a roll

With this . And then I read my horoscope today:

'A creative project will start to come right today and you will be delighted to have something to show for your efforts. But don't stop there. Now you've got the momentum going you must keep it going. What's your next target?'

ooooh I LOVE IT when the planets align!

10-10-10

Yesterday I completed my second half marathon. Eight years and one day after the first. Walked it for the most part this time, but the effort was all the same. The aches and pains (and blisters) yesterday and today are evidence of the hard work, the fun, the comaraderie of my walking gals, and the incredible feeling that I did something I didn't think I would ever do again.

Cornered

Its Friday. Even when I'm feeling a bit funny on the inside, there is an added spring to my step when I fully awaken to the realization that its Friday. My favorite day of the week. The day of the week that may start off in regular getting-ready-for-school chaos, but ends in my favorite spot in the house.

And I think we may spark our first fire of fall tonight. With my fam. All cuddled together in my corner.

chillin.

cuddlin.

cause Dude, its Friday.

xxxx

The warmth of a vent

I've been holding out, but at long last, this morning I finally let the furnace do its thing. I let it run. For many months I've had the furnace set at 15 degrees celsuis, knowing it would take a MIGHTY cold morning for it to kick in... and well... this morning I decided that 17.5 degrees was a bit too chilly for my 5:45am rise.

So the fuel company will start making its money from us again. The anticipation of warmth blowing out the vents will punctuate our days. Our daughter will begin seeking the warmest vent to warm her bones.

But hey... its October 6th. I've held out, but now the chill of fall is here and I'm ready to welcome it.

A.D.D.

I think if I wasn't such a quiet kid, I would have gotten into a lot of trouble. Or maybe I wasn't really like this as a child, but as an adult, I think I definitely suffer from A.D.D. My attention to things isn't what it used to be, and with so many things I want to do/try, projects I want to tackle/complete, things I want to see, people I want to meet/know, I feel like there isn't enough time in this one lifetime to do it all.

Do you feel frustrated too?

What's a gal to do?

I know... FOCUS. Its hard though. Just get 'er started. Get 'er done. Hard to.

For instance, these are the things that interest me, but how do I prioritize? Where do I find the time, while not robbing my precious sleep?

this intrigues me
so does this
and this
and i'm now reading this and want to do it all in there
and this weighs on my mind
and then there's this too....

Not to mention the things I need to finish, attend to, love, honour and maintain.

Really now... I ask again... what's a gal to do?

fall crush

So perhaps after this post you are going to think I have a funny fetish. But its not funny, I assure you. It is love. Pure love.


I was introduced to the intoxicating taste of these beautiful little things about 8 years ago. And I've been in love ever since. They play hard to get. You can actually only get them a couple times of year, THIS time of year being the BEST time of year. And you can only get them in certain locations. And man oh man.... this fall they do not disappoint!

Smitten kitten. That's me.

Chanterelle heaven is where I'm at. I'm such a sucker for these woodsy shrooms, I absolutely drool over the thought of sauteing them gently with garlic and shallots in butter. Paired with egg noodles, and they are the most delectable seasonable dinner treat. I've not had them much in the last few years, unfortunately due to the cost - they are pricey at $9.99-$12.99 per pound, but this year I discovered friends of ours forage them and have NO problem sharing their finds with fellow chanterelle lovers! Yesterday the biggest bucket of the BIGGEST chanterelles I've ever seen landed in my house, and you cannot even begin to imagine how indebted I am to our friends.

They are scrumptous. They are meaty. They are delectable. And they are now yummily nestled somewhere in my very satisfied tummy.

some of my favorite things...

We didn't grow much in our garden at all this year, but it was so delicious to savour the taste of our only carrots and cuke tonight at dinner.

And honestly, I don't think anything makes me happier than these sights... such a common occurrence in our household - any time day or night. One could stop by at any moment and most likely see one or both boys doing this exact thing. Bliss for a mama.

Musing October...

The first of October. The rush of September has passed, and boy, it was a BUSY month! But now I feel more settled and centred and ready to have a fantastic month. I was so inspired {constantly, actually - so much so that I've developed quite the blog-crush} by this blog, that I've also decided that I'm going to make this a GREAT month for my family. Every day. Somehow. Celebrate everyday.

For the last two days I've been reorganizing my studio and finding my place there again. Had my regular group of croppers in there, and felt SUCH inspiration by what I was doing, and what they were doing, that I'm feeling my life-documentation mojo coming back. I was working on my Week in the Life project last night. First thing to report: never, NEVER tackle a project like this and NOT finish it soon after you begin it! I was lost for a bit, trying to determine which pictures are for which days, but I'm now back on track, and eager to finish up for my daylong workshop in two weeks.

Second thing to report ~ and the most important ~ I remember how it felt to document my life that week. It felt good. I felt inspired by MY OWN SELF. Which was a bit of an aha moment for me. I'm always searching for inspiration elsewhere, and who's kidding who, really. That is where we find a lot of inspiriation, is from others. But this mama actually found inspiration right in the seat where she was sitting. Moi. hmmm.... interesting idea to ponder.

And today I'm excited for two things... first is the fact that I can't wait to pick up this book from the library. My best friend introduced me to it this week, and I must say I'm very excited to leaf through the pages and becoming inspired to live. artfully. even just a bit.

So today I started by changing up the look of the blog a bit. Getting outside and photographing the change of the seasons - mushrooms are SO abundant in my yard this year. Embracing the month where we begin to retreat. cocoon. hold our loved ones tight while we cuddle up and watch a Friday night dvd.

Tonight (the second thing I'm looking forward to), however, we celebrate the birthday of a friend, and toast the culmination of our beautiful mosaic project with all the key people who worked so tirelessly on it. We're ready to bask in the glow of completion and put this baby to bed.

Happy Friday!

Dog Days

I can't get enough of this song lately - feel so inspired every single time I hear it. Have to admit, I can't watch the video - a lot too beatniky bohemian psychadelic for me. I'd much rather envision Julia pedalling through Bali ....

Which is what i need ... some inspiration. Kids are away this week and I've experienced the oddest week alone (well, Guy is here but working) I've ever had.

loose ends. downtime with thoughts. strange.

And now thinking about a gravely ill neighbour, I can't help but think about life. So precious.

supreme awesomeness

Could there be anything MORE awesome than your almost 13 year old son (who is willingly helping you hang his laundry on the new laundry line) saying to you (about said laundry-line-hanging-experience) "Mom, this is AWESOME."

I know. strange. but cool. and true.

zen in a laundry line

For the last 16 years, I've lived in two houses that have shown signs of a past way of life. In the corner of both my backyards there has been remnants of an old clothesline. Modern conveniences have trumped the ways of the past, and for many years, clotheslines of any kind became nearly extinct, evident only in those yards where families either didn't have a dryer or the elderly who preferred mother nature to hot electric appliances.

For many years I have toyed and yearned for the option of having a clothesline to dry my laundry, and without a long open stretch of yard to house such a line, I've succumbed to the desire of wanting a laundryline with a post. I don't know what has stopped me, kept me from my desire that would have my ten year old self screaming "Of ALL the things you could DESIRE as a grownup, this is the BEST you could come up with???".

Today, my grownup desire became my reality. My first load is out in the backyard, drying in our 30 degree (and climbing) heat. Bliss. Simplicity.

I feel like I've gone retro. Happliy so. There is something quite theraputic about hanging your clothes out to dry in the clean hot air. Something about paying respect to a simpler time, to all the women in years past who hung their clothes out to dry - they really did know best.

Sure, its convenient to throw your linens in the dryer, and there is something comforting about taking out warm pjs to put on on a cold winter night. But today its hot, with a wee breeze. Summer is baking my linens, and sweet ole Mother Nature and I are working together.

truths

overwhelmed with all kinds of stuff right now... both positive and negative. really been trying to shut out the negative, and then, as it so happens (like so many other times in the blogosphere) i was directed to this.

powerful stuff.

so. true.

geranium love

you likey?

new design tools in blogger - SOO cool!

whatcha think?

Unexpectedly delightful

The day started off frustrating, and I hate to wake up that way, but my man is sore. back issues. again. So this means off to the shop I go to try and head off customers who may show up unexpectedly... thankfully none did. Managed to leave messages and talk to concerned customers (we do LOVE our customers, so compassionate) about rebooking.

Not the way I've been used to starting my day.

My days have been starting off more like this. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. hmmmmmmmmmm. ahhhhhhhhhhh. And I know that will end soon enough, as I have this feeling a big ole J.O.B. is on the horizon - maybe a great one at that!

So for now I will continue to have days like today (the rest of the day anyway) lunch on the beach with kids and friends , sunsoaked moments of quiet and giggles and sandy toes, glorious fluffy pancakes for dinner, with fresh strawberries, bluberries, bananas and (oh god) double smoked bacon from this place. If heaven had a flavour, double smoked bacon would be one of them! As Sam put it, its just the kind of food that relaxes you.

wherever here is... i am

So I sit here tonight, reading some beautiful blogs, many of which are kept up on a regular basis, and missing blogging, cause I really did enjoy it... and then I stumbled (as one does in blogville) on this gem who I found from this beauty (they're brilliant sisters who I've never met but would love to). And in reading her posts - many of them, because that's the beauty (seduction) of reading blogs... you can't just read one post - I finally felt the courage to post again. many weeks later.



Its not like I didn't have lots to post, not like I wasn't living a life. But its been a kind of weird life lately. And every day I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing. or supposed to be doing. so I just do. But stuff's not feeling too right with alot of what I'm doing, so I feel like its time to change a few things up.



except for this bitch called Inertia. I didn't invite her here, but she seems to have made herself pretty cozy on my couch. in my life. on my shoulder. Contrary to the *act* of inertia, or lack thereof, its a fuck of a lot of work.



so I'm tired. of what I'm not sure.



But I decided I needed to kick some inertia in the ass, remember what my blogger password was, screw with my laptop settings so I could post again, and start again.



changed the background colour. more to come. I hope. if *Inertia* doesn't bury me again.



Now, on a positive note... in reading the aforementioned gem of a blog, I came across this quote from a book (what book I don't know, as I can't find the post just this second...), but it gave me some perspective tonight through my unanticipated tears...



"This is your life, your one-and-only-life. Over the next five years, what do you really want to do? What do you really want to have? What do you really want to be? Where do you really want to go... You don't have to take life the way it comes to you. You can design your life to come to you the way you want it. This is YOUR LIFE, your one-and-only-life, and you don't want to miss any part of it. So, what is it going to be? YOU DECIDE. Starting today, you can make the next five years the most exciting, satisfying, productive and amazing years of your life so far - or... just another five years. The best day of your life is the day on which you decide your life is your own. NO ONE to lean on, rely or blame. The gift of life is yours, it is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. Life is about the choices you make...choose wisely. Live your life ON PURPOSE."

When its raining, sometimes you need a good pick me up to perk you up!

I seem to have more creative valleys than peaks these days, but sometimes just a little pick me up from a newsy blogger can perk up my creative mojo. Shake Your Tree Today - that seems like it could be a good motto for everyday! ~See # 17 and #18!~

Its been pissy weather here for as long as I can remember.... its definitely contributing to my doldrummy demeanor. But I'm shakin' it, so maybe the rainclouds and November weather will disappear before May ends.

Happy 40 to my BEST FRIEND!!!!

Wow, I can't believe that 20 years ago we were celebrating 20, and now....!???!

Many many many warm and fuzzy wishes my beautiful friend!!!

xoxo

Fullness

I'm not going to put myself down and say that lately I suck at blogging. Which lately I do. Facto. However, I do think about it, and more often than not I resist the urge to type two sentences that I think won't be 'enough'. But they are.

Things are good. Life is good. Full. Messy. Sad. Happy. Definitely feeling lots of emotions lately - this weekend, for instance: accomplished, exhausted, enlightened, sad, excited, introspective, grateful, cozy, free, weepy, helpful, creative, cleansing, dirty, loving, emotional, connected, distant, attached, detached, hopeful, insecure, calm, peaceful, aggitated, hungry, thirsty, tipsy, wise, dumb, silly, anxious, doubtful, persistent, joyful, appreciated, proud, agreeable, thankful, satisfied, dissatisfied, gloomy, clear, frustrated, harmonious.

That's enough.

Back to the drawing board

After more than two months of action, waiting, and excitement, we've finally gotten to the stage everyone dreads in a long process. When something doesn't work, and you have to go back a few steps all over again and start over. UGH.

After more than 14 years of the same living room furniture, we finally pronounced our couch, loveseat and 6 year old chair, and made the decision to update. Start fresh. (read: experience frustration!)

Bought and had delivered two chairs we just love that we've had our eye on for a year. CHECK

Decided to buy a leather couch (site unseen, but online at Sears, where we know we'll be safe). CHECK

Have said couch delivered, only to find it won't fit in the front door. CHECK

Find silver lining in that realization, and subsequently order smaller loveseat in that same style. Order coffee table and accent chair to complete the look. CHECK

Wait two months (and get frustrated by delayed delivery dates) for two of those pieces to arrive at our home. CHECK

Fall in love with coffee table and promptly punt cheaply made accent chair into front foyer for upcoming return to Sears. (read: beware the temptation to buy upholstered furniture online.... somewhat good idea gone wrong!) CHECK

As a result of delivery of crappy chair and longer delays for the leather loveseat, we are making the decision to embark on a different path towards living room comfort and style. There can always be a silver lining in setbacks, if you look for it. And we think we have found it.

Stay tuned.... we're quite excited with what comes next!

Major mojo

Admittedly, despite 'what I do', I haven't scrapbooked much of anything for a while. A long while. ... I was feeling staid, bored and inspired by a lot of other scrappers and artists, but I, myself, was suffering from a bit of inspirational paralysis.

Not anymore. I have my scrappy mojo back! The kind where I go to bed thinking of page layouts and wake up hoping that at some point in my day I get to stick a picture on a mat and put it on a page.

Today won't be one of those days. Sadly.

But I have a sneaking suspicion tomorrow, the first of May, will.

Perspective

My Week in the Life project took on a life of its own. It was sure weird to not grab the camera as soon as I woke up yesterday morning, and it was sad that i don't think I took a single picture. Nothing to record my life on April 26, 2010. It was a full day - with lots of discussions, funny moments, and ideas exchanged. It was one of those days that, for a Monday, had a lot of meat to it. Not life-changing stuff, but a good day for sure.

And I didn't record a single moment of it with my camera. I didn't journal a single thought, action or idea. The day is recorded only in a flurry of emails and an entry in my gratitude journal.

Looking back over the 217 photos I've whittled my week down to, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment - both for undertaking this project, and for my life in general. Lots of the same things happen every day - regular life - and it is evidence why I have trouble remembering details sometimes. Life's moving fast, and there's lots of minutia to our days - much of it inconsequential, but much of it also poignant, important, and worth remembering.

And if we don't record some of it somehow, how are we ever going to remember how special our life truly is?

This week is seriously turning into a ball-buster, with not much time to do anything, let alone think! I'm off to the mainland tomorrow, and I have a million and a half things to do before I go, one of which is to completely layout my project that I'm working on all weekend - SHEESH!

But its all good. This week in the life project has its merits - I actually can't wait to start slapping photos down next week, so baby, I'm getting my scrappy mojo back.

Out to the studio to power layout before the morning gets away from me!

A week in the life day one...

More than 60 pictures (whittled down to just over 40 - but like HUH? how am I going to showcase all the best ones - they're ALL good!).

7+ little 3x3 cards full of journalling.

Much wondering if what I'm recording (photo and journalling) is 'significant', but I might not know that for a year or more when I look back on this album.

My eyes are tired... recording it all is tough stuff! ;o) (not really - its actually fun) I'm trying not to *edit* my thoughts too much. My days aren't all unrealistically entirely happy - neither are my thoughts, so why should I only write the sunbeams and moonbeams parts of my day down? I'm getting down and ugly.

ok... maybe not REALLY. But I am being honest. Hopefully I have the courage to transfer these recorded words into the album....

And we're off!

Its only 7:15 and I've already taken 22 pictures of my day! oy.... I shudder to think how many photos could be taken by the end of this week, but I think I will selectively go through them at the end of every day, so as to not be overwhelmed by images.

But I'm stoked... was awake at 5:14am, just waiting for the day to begin.......

Lofty goal?

This morning was probably the first morning in a month that I didn't wake up before 7am. I actually stayed in bed until about 8, and now I look at the time, and I think 'wow... on a normal day, I'd be going on hour five by now!' My intentions were good, but I allowed myself a bit of leway, as I have a VERY busy and exciting week ahead.

Yesterday was one of those days where inspiration was coming at me from all angles, and here I have no photos to prove it! That will not be the case for the next seven days, as I embark on a pretty ambitious project (especially for someone who has not really devoted much time to scrapbooking in many recent weeks!). I've decided to play along with Ali Edwards' A Week in the Life. Aside from my travelling adventures, I've never really documented every little thing about my life before. My mind is always so wrapped up in 'monumental' album projects - eg. baby books, our Paris album (still not yet started - ugh), that the thought of a current day-to-day everyday project has always really appealed to me. I've always envied those memory keepers that are documenting their regular life - not just the big events. Big events are intimidating. Real life is easy. {snicker snicker}

Its a really busy week coming up, and I did contemplate just doing it on another week that's a little less 'full'. But how boring would that be? How disallusioned am I that I could really think that any week of my life wouldn't have a big enough snag to put off such a lofty project?

Snag or no snag, busy or not, its happening. I'm not organized at all for it, but later on today I plan to do some creative 'organizational-idea-lifting' from some gals who've done it before and have it down to a science. Or art. I'm the type of person who really can't envision starting a project by just jumping in, and that is for the most part what I'm going to do. eeeee!

Exciting.

And I'm hoping that by the end of April I will have an album to show for it. !!!

Ode to the lilac

There are about two weeks every year that are my favorite weeks of the year for scent. One scent. For me its so intoxicating it takes me right back to childhood - to potent memories of spring. And then it takes me to the year when I was 22, and I could fill my house with this loveliest of scent. That year my girlfriends and I filled every vase we could with these beautiful blooms and I could not believe my joy at having that beautiful aroma fill my house.

Lilacs. Truly one of my favorite smells on the planet.

In my last house, we had two lilac trees that my sister in law had planted, but they were so crowded out by other bushes that all they produced the last couple years we were there were two pathetic little blooms. Even so, those blooms were gathered up into a vase in my house so I could enjoy their sweet scent for those amazing few days.

And then we moved to this house. Jackpot! I now have two huge established lilac trees that produce both soft purple and white blooms in huge quantity. Of course the most perfect and beautiful of the blooms are a little harder to get to, but I'm patient and determined. These babies only last for two weeks in April every year and then they are gone for another 11 1/2 months.

This morning I walked out into my living room after I got up, and instead of the mouthwatering aroma of espresso being my perk-me-up, its my lilacs. I have them all over the house, delicately scenting our lives. Until they begin to wilt and ferment a bit (yes, they take on a certain smell when they go - really quite strange), I will enjoy every moment of lilac season.

I will close my eyes and think back to childhood spring. I will close my eyes and think back to my 22nd spring. I will close my eyes and feel grateful for yet another gift we are given as the owners of our home.

Hmph

Spending far too much time reading about, salivating over and envying others' creativity rather than spending time on my own creative pursuits.

road block.

creative doldrums. ho hum. blahhhhhh

But I am reading this fascinating book . I absolutely love reading about how real women live their lives today, what has brought them to this moment, and what they feel makes them tick. Mary Pipher's writing style is so simple and her story so honest. She makes me feel ok that I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life half the time.

Easter week collage

The creative well feels pretty dry this week, so I thought I'd throw some images together from the last few days. Spring shearing, Easter egg hiding, yummy eating, botannical bliss, wallstone and a display of cutie-patootie kinder creatures for good measure.

Laws at work

Its been a while since I've really paid attention to serendipity or anything to do with 'the universe at work', but I had a run in with the universe in just the last hour, which was way cool.

Our accountant has moved up island, and informed me that if we wanted to get our personal tax stuff together (like I promised her I would last week), she would be picking up stuff from her drop box here in town tomorrow morning. {Nothing like a deadline to get ME motivated!} Now, I don't know why I've put off doing our taxes... I know we're getting a nice chunk back again this year. I've been diligently putting everything tax-related in a folder in my cupboard all year. Everything's there. There's no boogie-tax-man going to stake claim on my firstborn. Its all good, right?

Right!

So, motivated little me organizes all the paperwork (locating a couple 'lost' documents from my 'afterschool pocket') and puts it together and tallies up the totals. In the meantime, our mailman delivers the mail (mostly bills these days, but I still rush out to get it because I LOVE getting mail). AH HA!! Unexpected cheque in the mail from our government! LOVE IT!

{universe 1 - me 1}

Then, as I'm adding our tally of Home Renovation Tax Credit receipts, I see the Toilet Rebate Form I'd sent in over 4 months ago. Haven't yet received a cheque... Hmmm.... maybe all is lost on that, and we're not getting a cheque after all. WRONG! I decide to make a call to the regional district to see what the deal is with our rebate. I happen to talk to a gal I know, who tells me that we should be expecting our fun little cheque in the mail in the next couple weeks. YIPPEE!!!

{universe 2 - me 2!}

So, call it Law of Attraction, or call it whatever you want. The universe (or someone, or something, or just plain me) decided to reward me for my procrastination by saying "YES!" And in the span of the 45 minutes it took me to get my income tax shit together, $250 pretty much unexpectedly fell into my lap.

Geezzz.... I wonder how much this income tax refund will be?!??

I LOVE the universe!

Blessed

My time these days feels consumed by the lives of my children. School projects, homework, committees, performances, forms, birthday parties, appointments, plays... However, I am managing to carve out bits of time for me (by getting up way early these days, and somehow miraculously not feeling tired), so I'm not feeling totally burnt. Yet.

And when I do have moments of starting to feel charred by the busyness of raising three kids, lately I think of two people.

One is my friend Steph who is going through hell right now as she and her husband watch their 5 month old sparkling baby girl go through a battery of tests to determine how much cancer her little body has. Despite this she posts their updates with humour and grace and joy and love. She's feeling her moments of despair for sure, but she is so unbelievably focused on finding as much beauty she can in the midst of all this hell. So. Inspiring.

The other is a woman I don't know - her name is Kelle. Another blog I read had a link to her blog. Specifically the story of the birth of her second child in January. Read it. Poignant. Heartbreaking. Beautiful.

Brings life into pretty sharp focus. I don't know how I got so lucky. I feel blessed beyond belief.

Up with the birds isn't just for the birds

Today my 5:30am wake up saw me a tad on the grumpy side, but I still managed to bolt out of bed. I did have a good energetic day, and I have so say that I have not felt tired yet. Which is weird, because many times during the last few months I have had moments during the day where I could nod off for a nap.

Not this week. Not once have I had made any narcoleptic attemps.

Maybe this 5:30am thing is liking me on the whole....

Like clockwork...

There is an appliance in my house that I could not do without. Although it's never made an appearance in my daily gratitude list, it is certainly worthy of a daily mention (or twice daily as the case may be).


This morning I was lying in bed before my alarm went off, somewhat awake. Knowing. Sensing. I couldn't just look up and see the time on my alarm clock because my eyes aren't that good seeing three teensy little digital numbers across the room. I'd need my glasses or have to lean over Guy to see his clock. But I knew. The way you just know the boogie man psycho killer is going to jump out from behind that corner in that cheesy 70's horror flick. I knew the clock was soon to strike 5:30, and so would begin my day.


And then it did.


Before even a trip to the bathroom off I wonder into the kitchen to warm up my favorite appliance for action. A few minutes later, its ready for me, and I'm salivating at the thought of the first taste. My daily substance of choice. And soon all will be right with my world - enough to make 5:30am in a quiet house oh so worthwhile.

Early morning *tail*

Lifehack Challenge Day One. For a Monday, its an easy day. Getting up 'around' 5:30 is a bit easier on this day, as Lisa and I have bumped up our Monday/Wednesday morning jaunts to 6:15.

However, these extra few minutes kinda put me at a loss this morning...

I jump out of bed, turn off my alarm clock that now sits beside the door on the other side of the room, and get dressed. What happened next really should have woken my entire family, but somehow didn't. I come quietly downstairs to spend a few minutes at my art desk, and Cody starts feverously wagging his tail (a force of nature in itself!). WAG! WAG! WAG! BOOF! He bounds out of his crate, as if to say, 'Its time to go Mom?!' He's such a creature of habit that he thinks if he's slept, and its still dark and I'm in my clothes, it only means one thing. WALK!

Clickety-Clack CLICKETY-CLACK CLICKETY-CLACK go his long nails on the laminate - I rush to close Sam's dorr tightly so he doesn't wake up at this kooky blissfully quiet hour, and Cody is still going at it like there's no tomorrow. 'MOM! WALK! NOW! CLICKETY-CLACK! DOOR! WAG! WAG! VAN! GO!' Oy vay! After some hushed scolding, he sulks back into his crate, patiently waiting for me to move an inch, as if to say 'OKAY............. NOW!'

Back to my art desk I focus, not quite sure just what to do, which for me is SUPER odd. I'm never really at a loss for things to do. When I'm in the midst of chaos and craziness and too many school meetings, too much paperwork, too much housework to do, laundry to fold, I'm SO inspired creatively. I think of a MILLION little things that I could do if I take 15 minutes. Or 5.

But this morning. Zip. Zero. Creativity null.

So I cut some more pages out of my old Real Simple magazines to fill what is looking like its going to be the collage of all collages - filling up an entire wall in my home (I won't really - they will go into my collage book, and I *may* create a vision board... we'll see).

The clock now says 6:05 - time to let the hound out into the yard for a pre-walk piddle, and get my shoes on. I deactivate the alarm, let Cody outside, I go upstairs and no sooner Guy scrambles out of the bedroom with his 'What the ---' look on his face. The kind of look you have when you are suddenly awakened by a smoke alarm or loud crash or earthquake. The kind where you're not sure where you are or what year it is. He stares at me quizzically in the hall as I get on my coat and hat, and I tell him I'm just about to leave. Relief sweeps his face, and then confusion sets in. Somehow in his slumber between my alarm at 5:30 and the door chime ringing as I let Cody out at 6:05, he's mistakenly cogitated that I'd left, and the door chime he heard was some early morning intruder plotting to steal a cup of our wicked espresso.

'No sweetie - everything's fine. I just got up early and now I'm going to the golf course.' I reassure him. He turns around, gives what I think is a little 'whoaaa that was weird' shake of the head and starts off for the bathroom.

I bid him goodbye and leave my house in peace and quiet and go off with my dog into the darkness of our early morning walk.

With the birds

Inspired by a post from Lee's blog, I am also up for the Lifehack Challenge this week - to become an earli(er) riser in 5 days. It is on my list of potential habit-changers for this year, but why not give it a go to see what it really feels like?

There's something about 5am that I've always liked - not that I've seen that hour too many times in my life (other than the baby years), but I very fondly recall a very early morning trip to the airport many summers ago around 5am that was sooooo peaceful, so quiet and so serene.

However 5am might kill me.

So 5:30am it is! I walk with my gal Lisa tomorrow and Wednesday morning at 6:15, so I'm already up pretty early because of that... I'm sure I can wake a few minutes earlier to do this, AND enjoy the peace and quiet of my house the other mornings before the boys stir...

I'll try to post my effort and how I feel each day. The only thing that I'm uncertain of is just what time I need to be asleep each night to accomplish this goal. Tonight will be the hardest, as I imagine tomorrow I'll be knackered by 6am. {snicker}

my new playground

Six months ago when we redid our basement I was not in a creative headspace. At all. I was so happy to get rid of the gray walls, the yucky flooring and old furniture that I gave up what was once my art table for the sake of the pc.

And then I realized something was missing.

For so long my art table resembled a dumping ground of 'stuff' that had to be put away, found a home for, or to be file-13ed. I couldn't even see it anymore, and consequently could not see that part of my brain/life anymore. And in January when my creative urge began to come back, it hit me:

TAKE BACK THE TABLE !

REARRANGE THE SPACE !

MAKE IT YOURS AGAIN !

And so I did. And I SO am in love with this space that finally feels like it will be used.

(now if only I could cordon off my space so none of the aforementioned items land their sorry asses on it again!)

Now doesn't that just look like a place where great things can happen?

Snapshots

Okay... I'm such a sucker for these things, but I love reading them after and seeing what kind of mood I was in, and if my responses differ... its a real headlight into my soul at a given time...

10 favorites
Colour: purple
Food: perrogies and cabbage rolls
Month: February
Song: 'Save a Life' by The Fray
Movie: Something's Gotta Give
Sport: curling
Season: spring
Day of the Week: Friday
Ice Cream Flavour: chocolate
Time of Day: dawn

9 Currents
Mood: inspired
Clothes: pjs and robe - cozy
Taste: post caffeine
Desktop: inspired
Toenail colour: naked
Time: 9:46am
Surroundings: my newly organized and refreshed inside studio - I'm going to blog and post pics about it later. Feels SOOOOO good and inspiring already couldn't wait to get down here first thing this morning!
Thoughts: Do I really HAVE TO go out at all today?
Wonderings: Why am I so scared to start reading 'Pillars of the Earth'?

8 Firsts
Best Friend: Sue Kim
Kiss: oh my... Alan somebody in grade 9 - he was mulatto black with icy blue eyes and braces (lol), dancing to Stairway to Heaven (cheesy, I know)
Screen name: tll
Pet: Taffy
Piercing: ears
Crush: Shaun Cassidy
Computer: I think it was a computer that Guy had ... can't remember it very well at all
Home Location: Edmonton, near Bonnie Doon Mall, kind of kitty corner to where my Dad lives now (funny)

7 Lasts
Cigarette: hmmm... sometime in the mid 90's I think? (unless I slipped up in a drunken stupor sometime in the last few years!??)
Drink: Alcohol - beautifully rich Bordeaux last night; Non-Alcohol - espresso, soon to be another
Kiss: when Guy left for work this morning
Movie seen at the theatre: Crazy Heart with Alison last week
Phone call: the kids last night, calling from Nanaimo - Tessa's voice was heartbreaking, so I'm picking them up tomorrow
CD played: 'Cafe Paris'
Gift received: cash from my aunt in the mail with a sweet belated birthday card I have pinned up on my bulletin board

6 Have You Evers
Dated one of your best friends: kinda
Broken the law: yup
Been arrested: nope
Skinny dipped: yup, and quite recently I might add - just a few months ago in Sooke (shhhh)
Been on TV: yup
Kissed someone you didn't know: ooooh yes, that boy on the dance floor in 1993.... wowzers, what alcohol can make a person do!

5 things
You've eaten today: actually nothing yet, just the espresso, but I am hungry - one of Nancy's chicken's eggs is calling my name, and nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
You've done today: cut out some magazine pictures for a collage, checked my email, lurked around my new fave blog, made espresso, smelled the dried lavender in a pot on my desk
You can hear right now: birds chirping outside, Cody snoring, the loud pitter-patter of Sadie as she comes down the stairs, the whirring of the computer, the traffic in the distance
You can't live without: my family, my friends, espresso, my camera, and my dreams and hopes
You do when you're bored: surf the web, read magazines, laundry, read emails, tidy the kitchen

4 Places You've Been Today
my bed
the kitchen
the bathroom
my indoor studio (I need to come up with a name as good as my outdoor studio - The Scrap Shack)

3 people you can tell anything to
Anne
Alanna
Alison
(weird... never noticed before that they all start with 'A')

2 Choices
Black or white: black
Hot or cold: hot

The Joy of Julia

My life was {happily} not my own today. Julia Child took it over with a vengence, and with the kids away, I read her instructions, salivated heavily and crossed my fingers that today would be the day I would find - most likely out of season - small white boiler onions. Five stores later (jeeeezus) I found some, along with my other ingredients to make her famously fabulous Boeuf Bourguignon - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It was about one o'clock when I began. Having read the recipe three times, I read it all over again - gawd her recipes ARE long, but so informative!

I pride myself on being a pretty good cook (aka. I can follow a recipe relatively well, and have been known to improvise well when needed). But there are things that I've learned from Julia in the last few months that I had NEVER known before! I now know how to make ten second omelettes that are to die for , I've never ever in my life known how to 'properly' brown mushrooms - OH MY GOD, WHERE HAVE THESE BABIES BEEN? THEY ARE LIKE CANDY! And today I learned about the rind in bacon, how to blanch bacon, how to properly brown meat, what flour can really do to meat, how to brown braise those cute little onions.....

Today I made Boeuf Bourguignon, thanks to Julia Child.

Dinner for two was at 6pm. And it was amaaaazing.

Full circle

To have watched my Dad curl in the Brier 11 years ago, its so great to see him so happy for friends and an old team mate who just won this year's Brier on Sunday. This picture appeared in the Edmonton Journal today - taken at the Edmonton airport last night as Kevin Koe (Team Alberta's skip in the photo with my Dad) and his team arrived back from Brier in Halifax.

Almost a million people in Canada watched that amazing game on Sunday.

Pretty cool...

spring break musings...

Its Day 7 of spring break, and its been quietly eventful - used my new silicone baking pan to make the BEST chocolate cake I've EVER made(!), been playing games, reading, treasuring coffee-laiden lazy mornings, rock and beach-glass gathering, watching A LOT of curling, marvelling at the strange peace of my home with six kids in it (!), swimming, treating the gang to McDonald's for lunch, redoing our living room, and eating the spiciest chocolate gelato cone I've ever had - Ottavio's Chocolate and Chili.

The week has also been punctuated by the wackiest weather the coast has seen all winter - freakish snowstorms (thankfully not sticking here yet), chilly temperatures, a middle of the night trip to emergency for Tessa, who is recovering well from the most acutely painful but mild ear infection she's ever had (go figure), and anticipating the arrival of our new leather couch only to discover (not a surprise) that the movers couldn't get it inside our house {sigh}...

Everything happens for a reason...

Saturday, Saturday where are you???

I absolutely can't wait until Saturday, when all I have to do most mornings over the next two weeks is take in this view:


I don't know what it is about this year, but our street has honestly never looked so beautiful. Maybe its because its only March 4th and we're a whole month earlier than normal for cherry blossoms, but this week every time we've seen a neighbor on a walk or in our cars, we always stop and the first words out of our mouths are 'Can you believe HOW beautiful it is right now?'

I'm so DONE with this week (well almost - one studio full of scrapbookers and a PAC meeting happening simultaneously tonight). Its been a week of double bookings, major kilometres in the van, and too many spontaneous afterschool meetings on the playground. I need two weeks of low-keyness where I'm not meeting about school business, mosaic-making, writing twenty thousand cheques for school-this-that-and-the-other, and dealing with conflict, drama and personality issues. ENOUGH!

Phew, I said it and now it will be. :o)

And my new habit is off and running!!! I'm craving my water, and drinking every chance I get! I realized something totally bizarre this week which I really didn't think could happen - for a long period of time I kind of didn't even *like* water. Totally weird in my books, but true. I'm falling in like with it all over again and I'm already noticing a difference in how headache-free I am, how much more hydrated I feel (although I know I'm not totally hydrated yet), and how thirsty I am all the time (I think I ignored the constant thirst for a long time).

I's aaalllll good.

Habit #2

I really had to think long and hard about this one. I had a list. A fairly long list of things I wanted to work on. And for me, I know it has to be something measurable - something tangible, otherwise I know it will not stick. And so many habits I'm confident I will incorporate into my life, but there was one habit that I knew if I didn't ingrain, the others would never properly work into my life.


And this one is kinda hard/kinda easy at the same time. Its one where I'm reversing a bad habit, and turning it into a good habit. It will give me energy. Help me sleep better. Make me feel more healthy, and it will be one that I will become addicted to. No, its not legal drugs. ;o)

Its water.



My second new habit I'm incorporating into my life is consuming more water. I know - BORING! It may sound boring, but I'm actually really excited about being accountable to this change. So many times I've had headaches, a parched mouth, low energy, and just an overall dehydrated feeling, and I know exactly why. And I always think 'tomorrow I'll start'. And its one of those things that I will notice a huge difference in days!

But I'm starting small. Today I started off my day with a 6am slug of water, a 6:15am walk around the golf course, and another huge slug of water at 7am. I almost drank more water before 7am than I do most days! Today I drank more at work than I usually do. Right now the measuring part is easy - I'm going from relatively very little water to a bit more. And I'll keep on increasing that way.

And my reward is that on March 15th, with my new habit firmly entrenched... i will buy myself a new water bottle to replace my old sad looking bottle with peeling pink paint. It holds too much for me anyways - I think I feel overwhelmed drinking from it because its so big. I need something smaller and more easily drinkable. {silly I know!}

And to hold myself to this habit - every day for the next 60 or so days, WATER is going to be one of the things I'm going to write I'm grateful for EVERY day.

Salut!

part one - complete

After 58 days and more than 300 reasons to be grateful, I'm happy to say that my first *new* habit of 2010 has firmly taken ahold of my life! I actually thought this habit would be hard to establish at first - especially given its a habit I chose to maintain every night before I go to bed. MANY nights I am getting up from my sleepy stupor on the living room couch, and making my way to a dark bedroom where Guy is sleepily snoring. On those nights I've had to sneak into the room, grab my gratitude journal and pen, and sneak into the bathroom to jot down what I'm feeling particularly blessed about that day.

But last night I realized something really profound. I have gone to bed every single night since this habit experiment feeling hopeful. Never feeling angry about the events of the day. And if there was any lingering frustration over how my day went, those feelings lessened somewhat once I was forced to recount at least five reasons to overlook those frustrations. Five reasons to feel grateful for my life. And really, for all intents and purposes... it was never hard. There may have been one or two nights where it was all I could do to pull those feelings out of the air, (and I can tell in reading my journal just which days those were!), but for the most part, the moments I was grateful for, and the feelings that I had came tumbling out of my and into my journal.

Some recurring themes certainly sprang up, like family and health, my marriage, my friends, my home, and little things like something that was said, or a card that was left, or an unsoliciated gesture or hand to help when I needed it. And these are totally the things that I hold dear in my life.

That, and cherry blossoms snowing down on my birthday today. Totally magical...